Day 70: A pocket full of sunshine.

Day +70. Encouraging news from yesterday — my counts have increased (ever so slightly)! I was super excited and very overwhelmingly happy when I found out. The implications of this are two fold, assuming the counts weren’t a fluke since they can vary so much: 1) my immune system has stabilized and is no longer dwindling its way out the door; 2) my own immune system has started to flourish on its own, despite the chemo, and will eventually repopulate itself. Very, very exciting. And so relieving. I’m not going to lie, I was getting very discouraged and frustrated at the fact that none of the treatment had worked in helping me get better. But this, this is a sliver of hope, which at this point I accept with open, grateful arms. 😀

This week I’ve watched eight movies. Eight — I decided to keep track this time. They include: Selma; The Invention of Lying; While We’re Young; Insurgent; The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio; The Mirror; The Longest Week; and The Lego Movie. I never realized how much media I consumed until I started keeping track of what I was doing. Damn! So many TV shows, movies, aimless internet perusing. Granted my brain still isn’t at fully functioning capacity quite yet, but this addiction to constant stimulation via the interwebs is, quite frankly, unstimulating.

In an effort to revisit past hobbies and make better use of my time, I’ve been trying to force myself to do more whether it’s “productive” or not. Logic puzzles, coloring books, crosswords, sudoku, baking, all fun stuff! But to be honest, all of those things only hold my interest for so long.

I’ve spoken with my care team and it seems that I might be able to go back to work soon if my counts stabilize and/or increase over the next few weeks! This forced vacation, as luxurious as it has been ::sarcasm::, will finally come to a close for now and I’ll be able to go back to having something to do! I’m actually really excited at the prospect of going back to work, to establish a sense of normalcy and purpose again. Not to say that there hasn’t been a purpose in my recovery period, but I’d like to be able to focus my attention on something other than figuring out what to do for the day.

Here’s to a vibrantly robust, youthful body which is stubborn and doesn’t take help from a gracious donor! 🙂


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