Day +92. I’m officially neutropenic (again)! BAH! How’d that happen? My neutrophil count dropped to 0.32 x10^9/L which is way waaaay low. Like borderline critical levels low. Thankfully everything else (RBCs, platelets, other white blood cells) held constant since Monday. I got a low dose (300mg) shot of neupogen to boost the production of neutrophils and I’ve started a new antibacterial medication – levofloxacin. Though we’re not completely sure why this is happening, we think it’s still due to a different antibacterial medication I was taking but stopped about two weeks ago (septra) which is known to be rather myelosuppressive. Last summer when I stopped taking septra, it took about 3-4 weeks for my white counts to come back up so there isn’t a huge need to be worried, but it’s definitely not ideal. Till my next lab draw, I’m still on public/crowd restriction, no untrustworthy outside food consumption, and lots of rest. *sigh*

I just dropped my mom off at the airport and she’s on her way back to El Paso. I’m actually sadder than I thought I’d be. Much. sadder. Like, my eyes are red, nose is raw, and I’ve-gone-through-half-a-tissue-box-already sad. I think I’m most sad about sending my mom home when my health is back on the rocks, and I don’t mean with a twist of lime.

It breaks my heart to say bye to her when I know she’s worrying about what’s going to happen, what I’m going to eat everyday, how I’m going to fare, who’s going to check in on me; you know, basic mom thoughts. I wouldn’t be sending her home if my care team and I weren’t confident that I’m able bodied enough to take care of myself, but it still makes me sad to know she’s constantly worrying.

Anyway, I’ll be alright. I’ll keep trekking on. I’m gonna make it. I’m surrounded by an amazing network of friends, my family is just a Facetime call away, and if anything, flights to SF are easy to get from El Paso.

If you’re one of the fortunate ones whose mom is still alive, pick up the phone and call her. Tell her you love her and tell her you’re thankful for everything she’s done for you, no matter how much or how little that may be. Regardless of how good or bad your relationship is with her, without her you wouldn’t be here. At the very least, thank her for being your incubation chamber while you were being formed.

Win each day.