Day +26. I found out today that, based on my blood work from yesterday, I tested in the positive range for cytomegalovirus (CMV) infection. CMV is a virus similar to Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) that causes infectious mononucleosis (mono), with similar symptoms. Prior to the transplant, I had CMV immunity (I got it from somewhere?). My donor however didn’t, so the marrow I received was CMV- for immunity. Often times in situations like these (being immunocompromised), the CMV can get reactivated and can cause a lot of complications, which is why they test very carefully for it. Thankfully, they caught it before it got too out of hand and my NP swapped the antiviral medication I was taking to one that’s more specific for CMV — valganciclovir (aka Valcyte).

I think this helps explain, aside from my lowered counts, why I’ve been feeling so crappy lately. The extra fatigue, cough, running nose, body aches, narsty yellow mucus. Definitely makes me feel like less of a whiney brat. 🙂

April 1st. The day of fools. For me, it was a day of starting fresh, starting new. I was tired of feeling sluggish, out of shape, and trapped at home so I’ve resolved to walking 5,000 steps a day (thanks for keeping track Fitbit!), following The 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene for… 30 days (shocker), and making small, tangible, daily goals that I can accomplish to fill my days (e.g. organize my closet, make birthday cards, clean my room, baking something, read a book, etc). I think my approach to this whole period of recovery was wrong from the start. I was definitely trying to the tackle the whole mountain at once instead of making small, daily progress. Basically, I was setting myself up for failure over and over again, which is why I found myself so frustrated, upset, and defeated.

So, I’m “pressing the reset button” and taking the approach I should have had from the beginning. Small, achievable steps towards the top of the mountain every single day. It’s going to be a long, bumpy road, with hiccups and mishaps along the way, but there’s only one way up and I’m determined to get there even if I have to fight tooth and nail for it. Lucky I have great hiking gear.